Christmas? already?

Goodness.... I'm not sure what it is .... but there's something about this particular Christmas season that doesn't really feel right...or perhaps, it just feels a little different. So... for a while now, I've been feeling a bit.... "blah". I'm not sure if it's because I'm in a new environment far away from home and all the traditional Christmas things that i'm so used to... like going to a mall that has more than just one floor.... like going to a Christmas event practically every weekend.... like putting up the Christmas tree and complain about how tiresome it can be b/c all the pine needles fall off the family's genuine artificial tree.... like hiding all the presents that I buy for others under my bed until the last few weeks of Christmas.... like putting up garland along my window frame....
Or maybe it's because I'm always stuck in the hospital....and being in this adult/working role... it is a little different... a lot of different. It's just weird. I really don't know how to explain it... Something is just off.... and I wish I could pin point it. oh... what a mental pickle that i'm in .
Anyhoo, just this past weekend we had a Christmas party here in our lovely visalia habitat. Brian's co-workers came over and brought some food.... potluck! And what made it super fun was that a few of our friends came up from Chino Hills... Thanks Rob and Lauren, I think having your familiar faces around made the atmosphere feel more like the Christmas that i'm missing. Well, it was actually fun. I know Brian and his friends all talk law.... but at least for once I wasn't the only one who didn't understand. So for the most part, us Chino Hillians just played HALO- which by the way is the coolest xbox game ever!!!! we gave out some party gifts.. which was really nothing, it was just a picture of him and his chums during Brian's bday. it was nice and quaint.....
Well, the fog is starting to kick up a notch... the other day, when I went to work this past saturday morning... oh the fog was horrific! I could barely see five feet ahead of me. luckily I was driving too early in the morning for normal people to be out in the streets.. and it was the weekend, too.... but anyway...
Work is getting better. I'm on my own now, no more mentor constantly at my side.. which is kinda good and kinda bad. I like having someone there with me to pick up the tasks that I can't get to on time, but then again, it feels nice at the end of the day knowing that you got through the whole 12.5 hours on your own. But the sucky part is that for the days that get kinda crazy, I find myself skipping my lunch and breaktimes... and sometimes even staying at work for an extra hour b/c I get so behind on my charting. oh well... hopefully I'll get better... soon.
Hmm.... do I have any neato stories worth blogging about? well... the demographics of the patients that I deal with range from young meth addicts to the elderly men who enjoy flirting with younger women. kinda weird, but I still get through the day. last night I had a little taste of both: a 26 yr old meth addict who was so rude and grumpy towards me regardless of how nice I forced myself to be towards her. it's sad though, apparently meth is the drug of choice around these parts. I have seen quite a few of them in my ward b/c there's cases where they become ventilator dependent and mentally altered... it's a shame too... so young yet nothing else to look forward to. There was another patient last night was the nicest man... he's the kind that likes to flirt... not just with young nurses like me, but I also caught him pouring out complements to the female doctor that was caring for him. I didn't mind him too much.. he actually made my day--- ka-wa-wa for me, huh? And my other patient was more like a Shrek- a gentle giant that didn't mean to be so crabby, but it's not always fun being sick in the hospital during the holidays... so I guess it's understandable.
Life is surely different now. My schedule isn't so bad, I get to reserve the days off that I want... and work 3 days a week... but working the weekend sucks. If only this hospital was closer to home..... I think I wouldn't be so blah.
well... it's about that time for me to take the dog out for a peepee break... until next time bloggers!
p.s I miss you!